A parent’s life is so fast, and our days fly by quick,
as we rush and we race to give tasks a tick,
but during that time, we need to slow down our pace,
and give our munchkins a hug, a kiss or embrace.
Assalamu Alaikum. I wrote this short poem for parents everywhere, so we can remember not to be too busy to show affection to our children. This is an older post that I wrote a year ago & tweaked it up a bit.
Have you ever been around your children & realized that you hadn’t kissed or hugged them that entire day? It has happened to me a few times and it started to bother me so much, especially as I lay in bed one night, realizing that it is not right for a parent to forget to lovingly embrace her munchkins at least a few times each day. Nowadays I tell my kids to kiss & hug me as many times as they can in a day & it is especially important when they awaken in the morning & go to sleep at night. The older ones, act all shy & make it seem like its a big effort, but I see their smiles that they try to hide, because they truly love it!
Never underestimate the power of touch, your children will actually listen to you much better if you tell them to do something, while you stroke their cheek, have your hand on their shoulder or tousle their hair. Too many adults are aloof & stiff from being children that were not hugged & kissed enough (trust me I know a few). Hugging your children is comforting to both parent & child, but sadly forgotten far too much. If you make an effort to kiss & hug your little ones regularly, you will also lose that nagging guilt that some parents have, thinking they are never doing enough for their kids. It’s simple, the results are rewarding, & it’s beneficial.
Here is a lovely extract from http://eislaminfo.blogspot.com/ that I had to share:
I ran into a stranger as she passed by, “Oh excuse me please” was my reply.
She said, “Please excuse me too; I wasn’t watching for you.”,
We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told, how we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal, my son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down. “Move out-of-the-way,” I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart-broken. I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken.
While I lay awake in bed, a small voice came to me and said, “While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor, you’ll find some flowers there by the door. Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue. He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.”
By this time, I felt very small, and now my tears began to fall. I quietly went and knelt by his bed; “Wake up, little one, wake up,” I said.
“Are these the flowers you picked for me?” He smiled, “I found them out by the tree. I picked them because they’re pretty like you. I knew you’d like them, especially the blue.”
I said, “Son, I’m very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way.”
He said, “Oh, Mom, that’s okay. I love you anyway.” I said, “Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.”
Prophet Muhammad SAW never held back his love for children and always expressed his fondness to them. Abu Hurairah narrated:
“I went along with Allah’s Messenger (SAW) at a time during the day but he did not talk to me and I did not talk to him until he reached the market of Banu Qainuqa. He came back to the tent of Fatimah and said, “Is the little chap (meaning Al-Hasan) there?” We were under the impression that his mother had detained him in order to bathe him and dress him and garland him with sweet garland. Not much time had passed that he (Al-Hasan) came running until both of them embraced each other, thereupon Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, “O Allah, I love him; love him and love one who loves him.” (Muslim)
Anas ibn Malik, the servant of the Prophet SAW, had another recollection: “I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than Allah’s Messenger (SAW). His son Ibrahim was in the care of a wet-nurse in the hills around Madinah. He would go there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up his son and kiss him, then come back. (Muslim)
Narrated Usamah ibn Zaid, “Allah’s Messenger (SAW) used to put me on (one of) his thighs and put Al-Hasan ibn Ali on his other thigh, and then embrace us and say, “O Allah! Please be merciful to them, as I am merciful to them.” (Bukhari).
The Prophet SAW’s love for children was not restricted to his children and grandchildren. The scope of his mercy and affection embraced all children, and he showed the same interest and gentleness to his Companion’s children. Narrated Abu Hurairah,
“Allah’s Messenger (SAW) kissed Al-Hasan ibn Ali while Al-Aqra ibn Habis At-Tamim was sitting with him . Al-Aqra said, “I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.” The Prophet SAW cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Bukhari)
We constantly reward our children by preparing their food, driving them around, buying them toys and treats, but nothing is more reassuring of their worth than a simple squeeze, cuddle, or pat on the back. One time, I had no idea what I could offer my son as a superficial treat for doing a big task for me, so I jokingly said that I would give him a biiiiig kiss if he did it. I waited, expecting him to moan and ask for something better, but he seemed pleased & eagerly went about the task. I was taken aback by the simplicity of the reward & the power of affection that we underestimate. Physical affection allows our children to enter the world with inner strength to cope with the challenges they will face.
Many parents rely more on words & treats to communicate their love and affection, but it should be a combination of verbal love and tenderness with touch. Tenderness stems from affection, and sometimes we are more tender toward our homes, our gardens, our clothes, our cars, and our jewelry, & lack this with our own children. Tenderness really doesn’t take a lot of extra time and can be easily given while doing your day-to-day activities. Try to gently pat your child on the back as you pass by, stroke your child’s face or hair as he/she speaks, kiss their cheek as you scramble to work in the morning, press your hand to theirs or touch the back of their neck, while they are sitting at the table eating a meal. What this conveys is, ‘I’m glad you’re here, I love you.’ This will speak volumes to them & make them feel a sense of security & comfort today, & their whole life through.
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