A friend and I were discussing the importance of formulating friendships and having a social life when you’re a mom. We both agreed that it’s vital to have girlfriends to talk and vent to on a regular basis, even if it’s with one good friend. Calling, texting, and social networks are okay when a mom is too busy to get together with a friend, but it won’t fulfill her need for socialization for long. As society heads towards more cyber communication, we shouldn’t be satisfied with a non-contact form of socialization only, because it can’t replace the warmth of face-to-face interaction.
As a mom, you work on multiple things all day long. You get in a rut and begin to feel like a hamster on a wheel. You don’t have to reach that point if you set aside some time to meet with a good friend and enjoy the company of others. It’s great for your well-being and will prompt a cheery disposition.
I know from personal experience how despondent I feel when we move to a new town and I don’t know a soul. Fortunately, I rectify this quickly by attending a few nearby social events, visiting the masjid, volunteering somewhere, or setting up a playdate with like-minded moms. It may seem tiresome to get your kids ready to meet new people, but if you hear those negative thoughts – squash it!
Social interactions are beneficial for both you and your children if you meet the right people. You can always learn something from others, no matter who they are or where they are from. Socializing is part of being human, and we go against our nature if we hibernate within ourselves. I understand that some women find it daunting to socialize, so I’m sharing five tips to get you moving to meet new friends:
5 Tips To Socialize and Find Friends
1. Always Make Dua
Allah is Great, and He Gives us what we desire (if it is good for us), so first make dua and ask Him to ease your burdens and help you be in the company of good people.
2. Find a Group
Find an online mom group, homeschool group, or a group you like, and join some like-minded people sharing similar experiences. Participate in a group that has meetups or playdates and isn’t only online. Those will be groups that are unique to your city or surrounding areas.
Most of these groups are selective or request a brief introduction, which gives you some peace of mind. Participating in a group may make you feel uneasy, but after you attend the first meetup it gets easier, and you’ll know if it’s right for you. However, don’t judge the group by the first meetup, unless something was off-putting. Go at least twice before you decide, then look for another group to join if it isn’t the one. I have gained good friendships by joining groups as we relocated to different areas. It didn’t happen at the first meeting either, but after pushing myself to attend a few times.
3. Attend Current Community Events
Going to the masjid or attending family events are great ways to meet people too. If you move to a popular area, there is always some event being held over the course of the year. Sign up for masjid updates or look at the activities link on their website. Different areas have different masjids, and each one should have some event to attend. Once again, try to visit a few times before making a decision.
4. Take Part in Something or Take on a Hobby
Join a spiritual ladies group (halaqa) or participate in a hobby or craft class. Even better, volunteer your time during the evening or on a weekend when your hubby is at home to watch the kids. There is always something you can find by calling the local masjid or school. Join anything that you would enjoy, and in this way, you might meet some friends who share similar interests.
5. Take Initiative
Start your own group or halaqa, if you don’t find a group that meets your needs. If you find your group lacking motivation, organize a potluck at a public park, so you’re not burdened with any preparation. When you initiate and don’t always wait for someone else to begin something, you start to become popular.
You shouldn’t feel guilty for enjoying some girl time. It will make you feel happier as a mother and wife, and your refreshing attitude will show your family how good it is for you. It doesn’t have to be a specific amount of time per month; you can decide what you need and how to work it around your schedule. A mother doesn’t need to be enveloped in her household and parenting issues without an outlet of her own.
I have learned that lasting friendships happen when you give more than you receive, not necessarily in the monetary form, but in your time and support. People are attracted to someone who initiates contact, is reliable, open, honest, kind and dependable. Those traits are the keys to lasting friendships.