I have learnt over the years that Allah is the only one in control of my life. He SWT controls everything that happens, including the way my children and spouse behave towards me. With this understanding, the events that occur in our lives are either tests or they are an expiation of our sins. If the situation takes you closer to Allah, it’s a test, and if it takes you further from Allah, it’s an expiation. Allah says:
“Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself…” (al-Nisa 4:79)
Allah also says:
“And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much.” (al-Shoora 42:30)
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“[It means] whatever misfortune happens to you, O people, is because of evil deeds that you have already done, and ‘He pardons much’ refers to evil deeds – He does not punish you for them but He pardons them. ‘And if Allah were to punish men for that which they earned, he would not leave a moving (living) creature on the surface of the earth…’ (Fatir 35:45 – interpretation of the meaning).”
The Prophet SAW said:
“The extent of the reward will be in accordance with the extent of the trial. If Allah loves a people, He tries them, and whoever is content will have contentment, and whoever is angry will have anger.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 2320; Saheeh al-Jami’, 2210).
When you accept this, you can look at each situation in your life and ponder over the lessons you are supposed to learn and realize that Allah is guiding you. The situation will eventually change and your reaction and perspective to those situations will change as well. This may sound confusing, but if you ask yourself, “What is my purpose in life?” it will all make sense.
Who are you?
You do not belong to anyone. You are not your father’s daughter, your mother’s son, your husband’s wife or your children’s mother. First and foremost you belong to Allah and you were created by Him for a purpose. Your quest in life is to please Him in everything you do in this world. Allah chose this life and your particular situation just for you, and it’s up to you to understand this to gain meaning.
What is your purpose?
You are a slave of Allah, and as His slave, you have two obligations to fulfill as a human being. The first obligation is to Allah. These are the Rights of Allah such as giving zakah, reciting The Qur’an, making salah, performing saum and Hajj, etc. The second obligation is to your fellow-man. These are the Rights of human beings such as respect to parents, spouse, children, community etc. You are required to treat the people in your life as a blessing and an amanah, and with courtesy and kindness. Allah has determined through His Will that these people will be a part of your life, so any friendship or bond you establish should follow the fard and sunnah acts in Islam.
You were not placed in this duniya for enjoyment, but to earn Jannah. You are here to take your partner, children, family and friends with you to Jannah. The duniya is a prison for the believer. It is a place of unrest and agitation and you will not find the absolute peace you seek in this life. You should focus on how you are going to get to Jannah, and more importantly, how can you assist others in this same goal.
What about your earthly life?
It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tie your camel and search for happiness. You should always seek inner peace first which comes from loving Allah, then His Rasool SAW, and then loving others in your life for His pleasure. The key is to do everything for the sake of Allah only. Then, you should take care of yourself before taking care of others, or you won’t be able to take care of anyone. The Hadith states that kindness is an act of charity and kindness to oneself is also considered an act of charity. It is important to make time for yourself, your prayer, your exercise, your nutrition and sleep, and to find joy in your journey of life.
You should take the time to stop and notice the beauty in your surroundings, enjoy moments with your children, the pleasure of your spouse’s company, and in so many wonderful blessings around you. You shouldn’t become too stressed to be playful and carefree. As a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a neighbour and a community member, you will always know your earthly purpose in this world, but it is important to remember who you are as a Muslima, and what’s your purpose to your Lord. If you find that balance, you will have more meaning in your life and calmness in your heart.
Guest Author: Saajida B. – I’m a daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, supporter, writer, and entrepreneur, and enjoy cooking old favorites, entertaining and spending time with my mashAllah children. Charity is close to my heart and I make time to assist the less fortunate in my local community. I participate in the Muslim Woman’s Forum and run a support group for Muslim mums of children with chronic conditions, ranging from CHD, pulmonary hypertension, to autism and Downs Syndrome. My motto in life is, “You are exactly where God wants you to be, so bloom where you are planted 🌺.” Be the person who adds value to the lives of others – a word of encouragement, a smile, or a warm cup of tea, can make all the difference for a soul that’s searching for inner peace. Forgive me for any shortcomings in my written works as I am human and prone to error. My knowledge is based on experiences and carved out of our belief system, so unless quoted, all written works are my opinion. I look forward to your interaction.